As much as I feel more secure, that I have a safe base to come back to, and that I have someone at last that I feel I can trust, I cannot escape the deep sense of fear that envelopes me.
I had a restless nights sleep, tossing and turning. It doesn't help that this bed is so poor. It is strong, wooden, but no softness to it. I look around what there is of my little shack, and I can see sunlight poking through holes in the roof. The walls are sturdy now, but other than that, there is nothing in here. No place to sit, the floor is just mud, and I don't even have anything to cook with.
What I would give to be able to trade for some of those fresh wooden planks they are making over there. Some here have them, bigger places, proper flooring, proper homes.
I cannot rest, and though it is early, I must get on. I take a hold of the axe, because I know I will need it. I sling my backpack over my shoulder. I notice how bad I smell, I have to wash somehow. I need new clothes too, to get out of these rags.
As I step outside, I notice how chill the air is. I have no idea what the seasons here might bring, but I am certain if there is anything approaching it being a winter, I will not survive. I doubt many will. I look quickly in to see if Judy is awake, she isn't. She looks cold, as much as I felt. Clearly we have to do something, but given where I intend to go, I just leave her to sleep.
The white haze from the day before has lifted, and the air feels a bit fresher, as much as it can be in this terrible place. I wonder if the entire planet has become such a tomb.
The camp is beginning to wake up, with the smell of fires starting up, and dare I say it, food being cooked. I wonder about drinking some of the purified water we have, but I will leave it. We need it to last, and I can quench my thirst when I get back; if I survive that is.
As always my legs and arms feel weary, my joints ache. Once I get going I'll improve. I begin my slow walk, to the gate, and a bleary eyed guard lets me through. I know what to expect out here, back into the Wasteland, but no matter what I have seen, I know nothing can truly prepare you for what happens.
To my left, there is the river, and woodland, where we go to cut wood. There are two men and another woman already heading there. Some it seems just do that, endlessly, accepting their limitations, but I can't do just that, it's not in my instincts to be that way.
I turn to the guard and catch his attention. 'Hey, what kind of things should I search out for trade, what makes the best trades for goods in here?' I ask.
He looks as me, finishes yawning again and coughs, scratching his groin. 'Caps, oh and weapons, of any kind. They always trade well.' He replies.
I look back at him, confused. 'Caps, what do you mean caps?'
'Bottle caps, you know, off old Nuka Cola bottles. They had some precious metals in the caps, to stop them losing their special flavour. So now they're the only currency, cos they have something valuable in them.' He says, and turns away to urinate against the wooden fence.
His conduct doesn't instill much confidence in me over his ability to guard, but there are plenty of them, and most importantly the automatic rifles slung over their backs certainly look deadly enough.
'Where's the best place to go looking for caps and weapons then?'
'There's a few towns around here, all of them dead, except for the Raiders, and the Ghouls.'
'I know the Raiders, had a few run ins with them, but what are Ghouls?'
'Burnt like a crisp, and angry as hell. Now if you don't mind, I'm busy.' The guard says, as he begins to pick his nose.
I know what he means, Ghouls, burnt people, wasted. It sends a shiver down my spine, reminding me of my lucky escape.
I head out, searching for a town. The ground is rough travelling, gravelly and full of rocks. It seems like something out of a desert, and to back that up there are even cacti here and there. The sun has risen high in the deep blue sky, and I can feel it bearing down on me. It's going to be a long day.
As I walk along, I think about thirty minutes I must have been heading out now, it just seemed like it was going to be an endless series of hills and valleys, a never ending dead end. It's a wonder anything survives out here, but I guess humans are like cockroaches, cut off our heads and we still thrive.
Then, shimmering in the heat way out, I think I see what might be a building. As I walk closer, I am right, it is one, then another, and more. The beginnings of a town, perhaps more.
A lot of the buildings are half destroyed, doorways collapsed, roofs gone, but funnily enough, the road seems perfectly intact. As I enter the place, the gravel and rocks underfoot change to tarmac, shiny and smooth. There are even cars here dotted around. I wonder if there is any source of fuel, diesel or petrol. Imagine how far I might travel if I could get one of these things working.
There are side streets off, and a long main street, and I can see some buildings still seem intact. I have high hopes that I might succeed in finding some useful gear here. Though, I cannot understand why this town hasn't already been picked clean.
Before I can finish my thought, a glint in the sun catches my attention, and my mind screams to move, as a silver blade comes crashing down upon me. Instinctively I dodge away, dropping sideways, and foolishly falling to the ground. At first the sun blinds me, and I cannot see what it is, but as I try to scurry back, pulling away from further attacks, I finally see what is upon me.
The thing standing over me must be all of eight feet tall, and so muscular that it would win a thousand body building contests. It has a large hammer, which is almost as big as I am. Even its boots are four times the size of what I might wear. Its skin seems like leather, and gives off a raidiant yellow hue in the sun. My puny little axe will struggle to make an impact against this thing.
Brave or foolish, I spin around on the ground, clutching at the tarmac, feeling the stinging heat against my fingers, and leap up to sprint away. The brute may be huge, and fearsome strong, but it's also slow. Or so I had hoped, as it too turns and begins to lunge towards me.
As I run, I feel my heart beating insanely in my chest, and the thought occurs to me: now I know why the town remains so clear of others.
I can hear a giant's footsteps beating down on me, as it calls out.
'Humaaaaaan, come back, I am hungry for your bones!' It thunders.
It feels like I am stuck in some morbid nursery rhyme, and I am being chased by an illusion. I run around a corner, and my world falls away...
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